The Discipline of Self-Esteem

Yesterday morning I woke up and asked myself, "What is wrong with my life- why can't I seem to do the things that I need to do to take care of myself- why can't I get anything done?"  If you ever ask questions like this, you should be very still and wait for a thought to pop into your head.  If that thought is a thought in the nature of God (All Loving, All Kind, All Graceful, and All-Merciful etc), then that thought is the answer to your question- that thought is God trying to reach you.  The answer that I got back was: You need to start writing about the Discipline of Self-Esteem so that you can live in Mary Rose's Garden.

What is Mary Rose's Garden?  Is it not on my back porch.  It is a place where I live the Discipline of Self-Esteem and where my life touches others- and that when my life touches others- those lives grow.  It is about helping people to grow in their hearts and souls- and helping people to bring their gifts to the world.

My Mama always told me that one day I would wake up and discover there was a world going on around me- but that's not what happened.  The day that I woke up was the day that I discovered that I knew two billionaires before they made their billions.  I thought that the odds of that happening in one person's life would be absolutely impossible unless there was something that I did that helped them on their way- and then I figured it out- I did! 

It was then that I remembered the name of the man that I met at Malio's back in 1981- Donald Trump- and these were my words to him; '.. the only thing that people know about any building is the name on the front...'- so that if he wanted everyone to know his name, then he had to put his name on tone of those great buildings he was bragging about!  He told me that the name on the building was the name of the occupant not the name of the owner- and I replied that the owner of the building has the power to choose both the occupants and the names.  Before that moment of awakening- more than twenty years later- I couldn't remember his name- my mind blocked it out- but after that, I remembered discussing the name at length with my friend Mabel. 

Ten years after I met Donald Trump, I was in my son's pediatrician's office.  We often discussed the fact that she was the only pediatrician in town that accepted Medicaid HMO patients- her belief that it was an important thing to do even if she ended up starving- and in the beginning when Rob was born- she really thought that she would always be struggling because of that decision.  Two and a half years later, we were discussing the fact that while every doctor in town thought they would get broke taking these clients, she had a Mercedes parked in front of her office.  We discussed the fact that she had a huge patient load and could never get any time off- when I remarked that if she told the other doctors that taking HMO patients would put Mercedes in their driveways then maybe more of them would be willing to take some of her patient load.  Her question- why would I make the HMOs rich? My answer- anything that can make an HMO rich, can make you rich. A few years later, when she told me that taking her advice made her wealthy beyond her wildest dreams- my answer was that I didn't tell her to go out and buy an HMO!  Maybe that was why she sold it- for a billion dollars- we'll never know- but these two examples show the incredible power of words randomly shot off the top of your head. 

The day that I woke up was the day that I discovered the power of my words.  Words can inspire people to go out and do amazing things- and I believe that is my gift to the world. My gift to the world is to bring my words to people, because my words have power- in the same way that an artist's paint strokes have power/ That might sound a little egotistical but it really is not- we are all instruments- and we all have to open ourselves to being used in the way that we were created to be used.  At first I thought that waking up would change my life- and it did- it gave me a lot of confidence- but soon I forgot the power of words and got lost trying to make ends meet again.

I lost the meaning of the Discipline of Self-Esteem- I was all concerned with self-care and wellness- and that is a part.  But today I went back to the words given on my awakening- the words that I was given- the words with the power to change my life again.  I read the words that I wrote in Mary Rose's Garden and realized that there was so much more : 'this concept is about believing in yourself, loving yourself, caring for yourself - in short developing your sense of self-esteem- which then leads to a positive self-discipline and positive care for others'.  Caring for yourself without first believing in yourself and loving yourself is just selfish- but when you start with those two things- everything else falls into place.

The words in Mary Rose's Garden and in the links are powerful words and they really aren't mine- just as the words that I gave to Donald Trump and Pallavi Patel aren't mine- they just come through me.  But the effects of those words- the good that those people can then do- those things are all part of Mary Rose's Garden where The Discipline of Self-Esteem grows- and the effects of those words are all things that I can and should be proud to help bring to the world.

The first words that God gave me the first day of my adult life back at church was a sermon where the minister was talking about how God has given us all that we need.  Over and over again so that I could never forget those words.  Originally, I thought that was to get me through the crisis that I was in at that moment- but as in all the words of God there is a tremendous economy- every time you remember them they bear fruit- with other words- I came to the belief that we as the human race have all that we need- that we all have gifts to give the world and that if everyone was living out their dream and fully delivering their gift- acting out of inspiration and love instead of worrying where their next meal was coming from- and acting out of fear and worry- then all the answers to all the worlds problems would be solved within a single generation- maybe even in a single instant. 

If you want to know whether or not I am Living the Discipline of Self-Esteem, come back to this blog every morning.  If I am remembering my words, and allowing God to use me to teach the world about the Discipline of Self-Esteem, then the night before I opened myself up and wrote whatever God gave me to share with the world the next day. If not, I probably sat in front of the TV playing solitaire- escaping from the consequences of escaping over and over again. Pray that I write instead.  Thank you for being here!