Perks of Sustainable Living

Last spring, I decided to change my life and lose a ton of weight.  I went back to Weight Watchers and then back to Curves.  Curves lasted about a week because my knee was in huge pain.  Weight Watchers lasted until I stopped choir in May.  Work became crazy until June 30th and really hasn't stopped being crazy, but I'm back to my fall routine.  Last Sunday after church went to Weight Watchers expecting to find that I gained- but I lost 4 pounds over the summer- 10 pounds total since I started last Spring- not awesome but certainly not bad for not trying at all!

Hmmmm.  Maybe it was water weight.  After all, I had worked hard in the Temple Terrace Community Garden for two hours on Saturday and sweated a lot.  But today I went to Curves- and voila- last 8 pounds AND 8.5 inches from 5 measurements of my body since March.

To what do I attribute this miracle?  Part of it is the Community Garden.  In addition to my porch, I've been tending the library plot.  But I've also been faithful to the idea of sustainable living- my son Rob and I are now cooking with fresh herbs and vegetables more than ever before.  We've been experimenting with all sort of things from A Simpler Place in Time, and we've been eating out a lot less.

But even though I'm losing on my own, I'm going to keep up my self-improvement streak because I feel so great and have so much more energy now that I am back into my fitness routine.

Close with a quote that Donald Trump tweeted yesterday
If you are going through hell- keep going. Winston Churchill

If this sounds a little bit smug, google the phrase and then go to Rodney Atkins song of the same name.  I found it a little sounded a lot better there!  Have a great day- and whatever you need to improve- just keep on going- the journey is great!

Acceptance

Here's a copy of the post I did for my Faith Formation page today.  Warning: content is religious- so if that turns you off- then skip.  Think that it is also inspirational, so if that turns you on, read on.

I promised my kids that if I had some thoughts from the daily readings that I would pass them on- so here's what I wrote:

Here is a link to the readings from today:
September 13, 2012 Readings

Here's the thing I never really noticed before- it's in the gospel:

"Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you."
Luke 6:37-42

It really hit me that what this was saying was that if you want God's gifts in abundance, then you have to give God's gifts in abundance.  And of course, we know that the greatest of all God's gifts is love.  Another thing that I was reading today was talking about how all that we crave as human beings is acceptance- and that total and complete acceptance that we all crave comes from God.  It also talks about The courage of self-acceptance because if we good enough for God, then we should be good enough for ourselves.  That was another message that hit home.  The line that really hit me there was 

"I cannot be more demanding than God, can I". 

 And of course, I think that I am- a lot!  We probably all are- because we can see all that we could be and aren't- but God sees that too and loves what we do- which is better than doing nothing at all.

So let us go out today, giving God's gifts in abundance- and remembering that the greatest gift is accepting others as they are, knowing that God is accepting us as we are- with all our faults and imperfections- and that the more that we accept others as they are- the more that we will be accepted as we are.

The Right Soil

These are what my Simpler Place in Time herbs looked like June 3rd.  I put them in my window garden and they lanquished, then I put them outside in the pots and they both nearly died.  When my sage and mint died this summer, I replaced them with these two pots that barely contained a wisp of a plant. And this is what they look like only a few weeks later...

The purple basil is now the tallest plant in my garden.  The chocolate mint is spreading all over the box.  If you look carefully here- you'll see two kinds of mint- the chocolate mint has darker green leaves with less texture- over on the right side of the water reservoir is the spearmint saying hello.

Which got me to thinking- we all need the right kind of soil and the right kind of conditions to grow.  I have been having so much trouble with the Discipline of Self-Esteem lately- when I follow it, I thrive, but I don't want to follow it- so maybe I need new soil?

And here's my Dr. Who analogy- I'm sure you are just dying for this one... Warning- Spoilers- skip to the next paragraph if you haven't seen it and want to. 
Spoilers here:
Saturday, we saw the Asylum of the Daleks.  It started out with Amy in a photo shoot.  Although it was a fabulous shot, Amy was just not Amy- and then you see Amy getting a divorce and you know that Amy is really not being Amy. Luckily the Daleks capture Amy, Rory, and the Doctor and bring them back together for an adventure- because even the Daleks know that the Doctor requires companions.  And Amy really requires the Doctor.  Amy was raised near a crack in time- she doesn't really live in her own time- she really belongs to all times and places- the whole universe pouring into her being- so on the planet in her new adventure- she realizes that it is here that she is really alive- even though she is in great danger of becoming a Dalek herself.  In sharp contrast is Oswin Oswald, a woman trapped in a Dalek body, but fantastically alive and amazingly living the Discipline of Self-Esteem.  She left Earth to go traveling in space- that she felt that was what she was meant to do- and in her first voyage- she crashed on the Dalek asylum planet and got changed into a Dalek.  But here comes the Doctor- he needs to be able to start over with the Daleks- and here she is tapped into the Dalek mind and being able to open the shields allowing the Daleks to destroy the planet and herself- and she is able to destroy all memory of the Doctor from the Dalek mind- a mind that for all of history has been concentrated on doing nothing except destroy the Doctor.  Fantastic- nothing kept her from being herself.  What an amazing journey!

Spoilers over:
So if you are in the right soil, you will grow and become the person that God meant you to be.  Sometimes the right soil can be pretty horrific- but if your soul can grow and become- it is the right soil.  But if you are in the wrong soil- even soil that looks perfect- even with all the money and all the power and all the fame in the world- but in soil where you simply don't want to live the Discipline of Self-Esteem, then you are in the wrong soil.  Luckily, as human beings, we can change our worlds and make them what we want them to become- even sometimes in our imaginations.  When I was a child, I needed to live that way- it was the only way to become an adult without letting my soul die- just like Oswin in her world- but now I'm an adult and I've been living in a cocoon long enough- just have to find the place to grow- and it is always a journey of discovery.

Yummy weekend

Been tired since my surgery- then had all the deadlines at work exhausting me.  Thank God for Labor Day!  Long weekend to get caught up and to cook some goodies.

Sunday watched the Pioneer Woman Frontier Fiesta episode. Everything looked really yummy so went shopping for supper immediately and made everything in there except the virgin mango margaritas- and of course modified everything. 

Mango margaritas: Couldn't find mangos, so followed a suggestion in the comments and made them from pineapple- pretty pedestrian- will be looking for mangos and try again some other time.  Think my son has me spoiled for cocktails because his are so exotic.  Also just made half the recipe.

Mexican Rice Casserole: Didn't need 12 servings for 2 people, so made a quarter recipe- the only canned tomatoes that I used were my usual Del Monte Original Recipe Stewed Tomatoes.  Also didn't have cayenne pepper- so used smoked paprika instead.  It was super yummy comfort food.

Refried Black Beans: Used a large can of black beans instead of fresh because we didn't have time to soak 12 hours.  They were also super yummy comfort food.  Will definitely make these two recipes again.

Tequila Lime Chicken:  This didn't really go.  We love skin and bones on our meat, so used whole chicken breasts- did not have time to marinate properly and baked these instead of grilled them.  Did not really go with the meal and the flavor did not permeate the meat- will definitely try again- but didn't get it right this time.

While we were at the store getting what we needed for this meal- ran into a large beautiful bunch of collards with our name on it.  Rob decided that we needed to cook it with ham hocks, so we got those.  Madethem with Paula Deen's recipe- except we started with a pound of ham hocks and skipped the butter- Yummmmmeeee!  Added some baby potatoes to the collards the last 30 minutes and loved the flavor.  Served these with a turkey breast we had bought earlier.  Discovered something really cool- you can cook a turkey breast frozen- just takes longer- this is definitely something I'll try some week when I know I won't have a lot of time to cook and want some leftover meat for meals.

That's all for today.  Tonight I'm going to try this tomato sauce (cut to 1/3 size) to use up some of my regular basil which had lead it's life and needs to be harvested- will do this with Mario's eggplant recipe cut in half.

Until tomorrow!

Oral Surgery Today

Gore alert.  Do not read this post if you don't want to know the details.  Skip to last paragraph.

At 10 AM this morning, I'll be having oral surgery to remove a tooth that's been on it's way out for most of my life.  Doctor told me the history before he looked at my mouth- decayed as a child- fillings galore- a root canal- then the fillings gave way- got a cap- maybe two until the cap had to be held in by pin put in through the root canal- finally the pin split the root and the last cap came off- now there is nothing left but to do but cut the tooth out.  And I smiled and nodded because he had it about right.  It could go easy and come out like it was nothing- or it might be a struggle with a scary list of complications- either way- I'm sleeping through it.

My thanks to my friend Sandra who had been putting up with my reminders, will take me there, sit through it and take me home.  She is my partner in crime (Children's Faith Formation, VBS, and the Christmas pageants- so it is not really a crime at all) so I'm glad she'll be there.  Also thanks and prayers for Dr. Gift who will be performing the surgery. So if you are tuning in, say a prayer today and I'll get back to you tomorrow- or maybe later today.

Love you all.

Mary Rose

Breathing in the Garden

This morning, I went out to my garden to breathe as soon as it was light, and here is the view that I saw.  Magnificent!  Think that it will be an incredible day.

FLYing yesterday worked well until noon when I got stuck at the grocery store filling my prescriptions for my oral surgery tomorrow morning.  Yuck!  Am not looking forward to this at all.  After the surgery, will have to be on antibiotics and pain killers for about a week- and then take more than four months to heal from the bone implant that they will have to do.

Note to all Mom's with kids: Get them to the dentist at an early age and get that coating that they will recommend to keep the cavities out. My parents couldn't afford dental care.  By the time I was 20, I lost 4 molars, then some more to orthodontia, then some more due to not being able to afford caps when Rob was little- so now I have no teeth on the lower right bottom and after this just one in the left lower back.  My dentist has a little joke- he asks how I am holding together because even though I've had no new cavities in years, we worry about what will collapse next- and what it will take to remove the damage.  Nice little surprises costing thousands of dollars and loads of pain is not the legacy you want for your kids. 

On the other hand, my son had a beautiful coating placed on his teeth when he was little and the only work he has needed has been to replace a little of the coating that had worn off- once.  So do your best to get some kind of dental insurance for your kids, take them in every six months, and do the preventive stuff.  If you can't afford braces fine- they can do it when they grow up- but get them the basics.  Off the soap box.

Next week will be fun- hope to be posting here- but if the posts sound funnier than usual- that is because my brain is funnier than usual!

Working on my attitude today, so just enjoy this glorious sunrise and I'll see you tomorrow!

FLYing Today

I have this great little wakeup routine that I wrote about over 6 years ago.  It may not be a perfect routine for the rest of the world, but it is a great little routine for me.  This morning, I woke up and totally goofed off for two hours feeling miserable- and then this thought popped into my head- Why Don't You Use Your Fly Routine Anymore?  Why indeed?  I know that it works- I know that it feels great.  So I opened up the web page- read the first two paragraphs (which really helps you focus on what's important), stretched right there on the couch (which was pretty funny but effective), went out to my garden to breathe, then came back in the house looking for grain, protein and fruit.  Spent too much time looking for all kinds of exotic things (have this recipe for Ezekial bread started on the stove right now- had a lot of the grains except for spelt and millet but do have wheat berries to substitute for spelt which is a primitive wheat)- and totally missed this wonderful banana bread that I made yesterday.  I didn't have applesauce, so I took a can of pears in their own juice, boiled them in the juice and blended up about 2/3 of the can which made the 1/2 cup of pear sauce needed.  I didn't have whole wheat flour so I used white flour instead, and I can't have banana bread without nuts, so I added 3/4 cup of whole almonds that were then mostly crushed.  Just fruit, honey, flour, almonds, and leavening- what could be better?  Also wanted more flavor so added some of the homemade vanilla extract from Cheyenne's.  I think that Cheyenne can skip all of the vegetables and there would be tons of people who would shop there for the condiments, honey, dairy, and plants! So this is a picture of what is left of the bread...

That's as far as I've gotten today with FLYing but it's a start. See you tomorrow!

Wonder of a Rain Barrel

 You wouldn't think that a porch garden in an apartment would have a rain barrel, but that is my latest acquisition.  Just now, I noticed that this is TARDIS blue- and that gives me an idea for later...

Right now this is just the un-sexy utility rain barrel that I got for free when I attended one of  Hillsborough County Extension's Compost, Water-Wise Rainbarrel workshops.  They give you a free rain barrel with one of these sexy things already attached.

They also give you a make-it-yourself compost bin and a micro-watering system.  Don't have the pressure for the watering system and afraid to use to bin at this point. Note that the rain barrel is still a mess, but you would not believe how wonderful that spigot is.  I don't have an outside water connection- but now all I have to do is attach a hose to that spigot and voila- no more carrying water.  Well sort of...

You see a 55 gallon rain barrel full of water weighs over 400 pounds, so the one thing you want to do is make sure that it is stable and can't be knocked over.  I keep mine in my storage closet which very conveniently is 6 inches off the ground level of my porch (because it floods which is another way to get water to the plants on the ground!).  You will notice that not much rain is going to fall into the rain barrel in the storage shed but collection is not my problem.

Every time it rains- one of these handy little things just off my porch will fill to the top with rain water- that is 5 gallons per pot.  The old problem was that you had to get rid of the water before things grew in them.  Now I simply take my little blue pail (which an old lady can carry easily), fill it with water...

And then dump it into the top of my rain barrel.  The little things off to the side are useless- just one attempt to try to get the water from one place to another.  Before I dump it, I give my barrel a fashion makeover- the latest in rain barrel hats..

This is actually to keep all the debris in the collection pots out of the rain barrel.  This is one of those useless vegetable fresh bags cut open- which is a pretty nice water filter.  This is what it looks like when the latest rain gets transferred to the barrel:

Not nice....

But with this handy, dandy accessory, I now have almost too much water for my garden and instead of having to water once a day, I now only have to water once or twice a week.  It took about a week ot two of filling three 5 gallon pots along with a tropical storm stalled over Florida to fill my barrel.  From that point, I just left one out there and that pretty much keeps the barrel full from there.  That is in the height of the tropical weather season- we'll see where we go from there...

And that is my wonder report for today!

Seventeen Years

One of the things that I love about the process of writing, is the things that can be discovered no other way.  The Wonder Child poem was born out that kind of questioning frustration that I talked about in this post- that kind of questioning that often leads to a thought popping into your head that gives you a lot of insight into the answer- an answer that seems to come from God.  The last two lines of The Wonder Child
"We must learn the discipline of self-esteem
To release the power of God upon the Earth"
was exactly that kind of experience.  All of the words poured out of me onto the paper, I asked the question:
How do we chain the animal and not the soul?
How do we allow the wonder to be released and not the anger?
and had no answer, so I was quiet and waited for the answer- then the last two lines came to me.

That was in 1995- seventeen years ago.  I asked the question: What is the Discipline of Self-Esteem? How do I discover it? How do I nurture it?  I knew that self-esteem was a serious problem for me- it is for almost every person who has survived family violence.  I knew that it was important.  I knew that self-esteem was not about just feeling self-important, it was about knowing who you are in relation to God and loving yourself in the same way that God loves you- seeing yourself the way God sees you.  Almost immediately, I began teaching Children's Church at the start of Lent Cycle A.  The format was simple: Read the readings in a form that children can understand, find a story book the exemplified the readings, and get a coloring picture to back it up.  I found the coloring pictures on a website offering free art work that was only around for about as long as I did the Children's Church- and Children's Church didn't last much past Lent of that year.  But the lessons in those few weeks became the meaning of the Discipline of Self-Esteem for me.  I've been meaning to write a book about it ever since that discovery.

On the other hand, in all of this time, it never occurred to me that the Discipline of Self-Esteem had anything to do with nurturing The Wonder Child. I think that is just amazing.  Here I am asking God how to balance the needs of the Wonder Child- to allow a person to be themselves without being a monster- to keep that part of the soul alive and free- without realizing what I wrote yesterday- the lesson that I learned from Dr. Who- that the Discipline of Self-Esteem is not just about self-esteem but it is about keeping the  Wonder Child alive and free.  And that keeping the Wonder Child alive is about maintaining that connection to God and others.

My son often complains that I am 4 years old.  I haven't felt four years old in a while.  My wonder child has not been free for a long time- the closest thing that I get to it is when I discover the things that I write about in this blog- when I discover something new- when I have a new toy. But I haven't worked as much on maintaining that connection- and if we don't, then the Wonder Child cannot live.  I also think that my Sunday School lessons are important parts of the process and I will talk about them and flesh them out some more in coming posts- as well as tell you more about the things that I discover that fill me with wonder as in the Daily DOSE (discipline of self-esteem) posts I did a few years back.

If I look at the blogs that I love- I discover that most of them are founded by people who express their Wonder Child through them:
The Pioneer Woman
Thy Hand Hath Provided
The Cottage in the Oaks
 The Field Lab and
Tracy Porters's Pinterest Poetic Wanderlust Boards.

For the record, I would have included Brendan Loy's Living Room Times and my niece Opal's Blog in this list but it looks like they are not really blogging any more.

And when I look at what I do to escape (other than playing Solitaire)- all the TV shows that I am addicted to have a wonder child in them.  So nurture your wonder child and see what happens- to yourself- and your world!

The Wonder Child and Dr. Who

 Sunday, I spent the day with Dr. Who instead of cleaning the place up and was disappointed because I wanted to see the effects of the Discipline of Self-Esteem in my life.  But today as I was going over my past writings, I realized that Dr. Who and especially the things that made me want to live in Dr. Who's universe had a lot to do with the topic.

When Rob was little, a priest at St. Mary's told me that the most wonderful thing about being a little child was that the world was so new and everything was so wonderful to their eyes.  Looking at Rob, I could see the wonder in his eyes and I wanted that wonder to stay there forever.  As he grew older, many people became very angry with me because they felt that I was not punishing him enough.  They felt that the only way to keep kids in line was to punish them until they behaved- and if a child did not behave then you needed to punish them until they did.  In my own healing and recovery from the effects of abuse, I came to find the wonder in life myself and was very protective of preserving the wonder for both of us- and there were so many people who saw that wonder in me and felt that was because I was not being a grown-up.  One day I was so angry that I wrote another poem which I called - The Wonder Child.  Here it is:

The Wonder Child
                         
The soul is a wonder child.
It needs to be able to carry prayers to and from God.
It needs to be able to sense and feel and wonder and discover,
To release the wonder of it's potential on Earth.

We live in a world full of animals.
Full of greed and lust and self-satisfaction.
Full of taking and leaving and disappointing.
Devoid of responsibilities on Earth.

Society is a great policeman.
Full of laws, and rules, and internal regulations.
Full of put downs, push downs, and pull downs.
Devoid of the wonder of the Earth.

How do we chain the animal and not the soul?
How do we allow the wonder to be released without the anger?
We must learn the discipline of Self-Esteem.
Releasing the Power of God on the Earth.

The first verse is a powerful truth that I can feel even as I write this. Jesus said that to get to heaven, you had to come like a little child- and I believe that what he meant was that you need to keep the wonder in your life- that when you are open to God, you see the wonder, your soul is free, and it flies to and from heaven back and forth freely- carrying joy and prayers to God and bringing back grace and courage.  The thing that I love most about Doctor Who is that here is a creature who is almost 1000 years old who still has his wonder- who can still see the wonder in the world and the amazing potential of his human companions.  Dr. Who is still a wonder child- still in touch with all that is good- with a soul that carries his dreams to God and carries out God's dreams for the earth.

In every episode, Dr. Who faces the quandary in verse 2.  He wants to live in a world of peace, love, and harmony with universal brotherhood, but there is always someone who wants to destroy the human race- sometimes for very stupid reasons.  He doesn't want to kill the bad guys but constantly finds that he has no choice.  I think that he needs some prayer in his life.  With prayer in your life, you find the way to bring God's love to the world in spite of all the evil and all the bad guys.  It doesn't really apply to a 5 year old (although we need to reference Stormageddon in Closing Time- the baby who wanted to be a dark lord until his Dad overcame the cybermen and then he was glad to be just Alfie- that underneath every evil villain is just a little child who had lost their wonder). So that is verse 2.

Verse 3 was all about the people who were ribbing me.  I know that society is good and that we need to live in society but sometimes you can just feel your soul bursting with wonder and joy- and society struggling to take chains and trap it- keep it from being free and completing that circuit that makes everything work- and as your soul is struggling against the weight of those chains, you can feel the wonder dying- you can feel your soul dying again and you think that it will never live again.  Both that is just not true- all that you need to do is to open yourself up to the wonder again- and there you are voila- being a conduit for all that wonder and grace again!!  Hooray!  That's why I love being a Mary Rose- because a Mary Rose is a flower that can always get the wonder back again- no matter how many times it is lost.  Dr. Who goes through the same things- he gets lost in the chaos and suffering- but then he sees the love and courage of his companions- his faith in human nature is reborn- and he is able to save the human race again!  He always ends every struggle reborn again, free- full of wonder- off to see all of time and space.

And I guess that reflection pretty much sums up the last verse.  How do we resolve the conflict of not wanting the evil in verse 2 but not wanting to give in to the answers that society has arrived at in verse 3- we must learn to find that source of self-esteem in ourselves that is based on what is right and true and holy within us- that helps our soul to be free to carry prayers to and from God- that allows us to be the people that God created us to become- the conduit of His grace and His love to all the earth.  Then we can all be free- even without a Tardis!

The Beginnings of the Garden

When I was 16, I had an English teacher who gave me an F on a major project.  She asked me to write about a story set in the time of the Idylls of the King- with all the myth and pageantry.  I took a different take on the story and put that era into a Star Trek adventure where the locals were misinterpreting technology and aliens beings for magic and fairy creatures.  It was a good story and I worked hard on it and the grade hurt.  I came home and wrote this poem:

Why Mr. World, do you close your gates,
Shut your gates smack in my face!
I now long to be back at home to be,
At home in my Garden of Roses.

The Roses have thorns, but then life does too,
And Roses hurt only my fingers,
The thorn of life drives through my heart,
But not in my Garden of Roses.

It was a dramatic poem but then, I'm a dramatic person.  In those days, my garden was a world of escape and it was a world that kept me whole.  I don't know how my brothers and sisters stayed sane growing up in our home, because I had a little something none of the others had.  I grew up in the world of the Bobbsey Twins, Cherry Ames, Nancy Drew, the Little House on the Prairie and the entire contents of the juvenile library in West Medway, Massachusetts.  Around the time that I wrote this poem, someone remarked that I looked like I grew up in a garden and I think that I did.  The world in those books was a world of great mystery- but also a world where all the parents were loving and caring- and all the kids were kind and good natured.  It was a good place to grow up for someone who had to face the reality that I had to face.

The problem is that the same mechanisms that are needed to help you grow up in childhood where there is no escape, become the same things that keep you from living your dreams once you are grown.  The thing is that once you are grown, you are not trapped- you are free to form your own world.  I still dream about living in my garden- the trick is to make that garden your reality rather than your dream.  Today I spent the whole day with Dr. Who- which is a very fun reality to be in- but not a very productive one.

When I wrote my blog this morning, I felt so liberated- I had the energy to do anything- take on anything in the world- but once I sat down and went over to Amazon, the escape thing took over.  Guess the only thing to do is to write this down and start over tomorrow.  Until then- live your dreams instead of dreaming them and I'll try to do the same.

The Discipline of Self-Esteem

Yesterday morning I woke up and asked myself, "What is wrong with my life- why can't I seem to do the things that I need to do to take care of myself- why can't I get anything done?"  If you ever ask questions like this, you should be very still and wait for a thought to pop into your head.  If that thought is a thought in the nature of God (All Loving, All Kind, All Graceful, and All-Merciful etc), then that thought is the answer to your question- that thought is God trying to reach you.  The answer that I got back was: You need to start writing about the Discipline of Self-Esteem so that you can live in Mary Rose's Garden.

What is Mary Rose's Garden?  Is it not on my back porch.  It is a place where I live the Discipline of Self-Esteem and where my life touches others- and that when my life touches others- those lives grow.  It is about helping people to grow in their hearts and souls- and helping people to bring their gifts to the world.

My Mama always told me that one day I would wake up and discover there was a world going on around me- but that's not what happened.  The day that I woke up was the day that I discovered that I knew two billionaires before they made their billions.  I thought that the odds of that happening in one person's life would be absolutely impossible unless there was something that I did that helped them on their way- and then I figured it out- I did! 

It was then that I remembered the name of the man that I met at Malio's back in 1981- Donald Trump- and these were my words to him; '.. the only thing that people know about any building is the name on the front...'- so that if he wanted everyone to know his name, then he had to put his name on tone of those great buildings he was bragging about!  He told me that the name on the building was the name of the occupant not the name of the owner- and I replied that the owner of the building has the power to choose both the occupants and the names.  Before that moment of awakening- more than twenty years later- I couldn't remember his name- my mind blocked it out- but after that, I remembered discussing the name at length with my friend Mabel. 

Ten years after I met Donald Trump, I was in my son's pediatrician's office.  We often discussed the fact that she was the only pediatrician in town that accepted Medicaid HMO patients- her belief that it was an important thing to do even if she ended up starving- and in the beginning when Rob was born- she really thought that she would always be struggling because of that decision.  Two and a half years later, we were discussing the fact that while every doctor in town thought they would get broke taking these clients, she had a Mercedes parked in front of her office.  We discussed the fact that she had a huge patient load and could never get any time off- when I remarked that if she told the other doctors that taking HMO patients would put Mercedes in their driveways then maybe more of them would be willing to take some of her patient load.  Her question- why would I make the HMOs rich? My answer- anything that can make an HMO rich, can make you rich. A few years later, when she told me that taking her advice made her wealthy beyond her wildest dreams- my answer was that I didn't tell her to go out and buy an HMO!  Maybe that was why she sold it- for a billion dollars- we'll never know- but these two examples show the incredible power of words randomly shot off the top of your head. 

The day that I woke up was the day that I discovered the power of my words.  Words can inspire people to go out and do amazing things- and I believe that is my gift to the world. My gift to the world is to bring my words to people, because my words have power- in the same way that an artist's paint strokes have power/ That might sound a little egotistical but it really is not- we are all instruments- and we all have to open ourselves to being used in the way that we were created to be used.  At first I thought that waking up would change my life- and it did- it gave me a lot of confidence- but soon I forgot the power of words and got lost trying to make ends meet again.

I lost the meaning of the Discipline of Self-Esteem- I was all concerned with self-care and wellness- and that is a part.  But today I went back to the words given on my awakening- the words that I was given- the words with the power to change my life again.  I read the words that I wrote in Mary Rose's Garden and realized that there was so much more : 'this concept is about believing in yourself, loving yourself, caring for yourself - in short developing your sense of self-esteem- which then leads to a positive self-discipline and positive care for others'.  Caring for yourself without first believing in yourself and loving yourself is just selfish- but when you start with those two things- everything else falls into place.

The words in Mary Rose's Garden and in the links are powerful words and they really aren't mine- just as the words that I gave to Donald Trump and Pallavi Patel aren't mine- they just come through me.  But the effects of those words- the good that those people can then do- those things are all part of Mary Rose's Garden where The Discipline of Self-Esteem grows- and the effects of those words are all things that I can and should be proud to help bring to the world.

The first words that God gave me the first day of my adult life back at church was a sermon where the minister was talking about how God has given us all that we need.  Over and over again so that I could never forget those words.  Originally, I thought that was to get me through the crisis that I was in at that moment- but as in all the words of God there is a tremendous economy- every time you remember them they bear fruit- with other words- I came to the belief that we as the human race have all that we need- that we all have gifts to give the world and that if everyone was living out their dream and fully delivering their gift- acting out of inspiration and love instead of worrying where their next meal was coming from- and acting out of fear and worry- then all the answers to all the worlds problems would be solved within a single generation- maybe even in a single instant. 

If you want to know whether or not I am Living the Discipline of Self-Esteem, come back to this blog every morning.  If I am remembering my words, and allowing God to use me to teach the world about the Discipline of Self-Esteem, then the night before I opened myself up and wrote whatever God gave me to share with the world the next day. If not, I probably sat in front of the TV playing solitaire- escaping from the consequences of escaping over and over again. Pray that I write instead.  Thank you for being here!

Adventures in eating

This week I got a food basket from A Simpler Place in Time again.   This is the contents of my bag:

Baby Arugula      
Butternut Squash     
Chopped Shallot     
Crunchy Mix Sprouts      
Daikon Radish with Tops      
Heirloom Lettuce Mixed Clam
Honeydew Melon      
Maytag Bleu Cheese Wedges 

Then I went up to Cheyennes Country Thangs and got the following:

Heirloom Egg Plants
Baby Broccoli
Yellow Bell Pepper

 Creamed Raspberry Honey

Had some things left over in the fridge:

Watermelon (had to use)

Blueberries (had to use)

Bacon (had to use)

Oranges

Lemons (have to use)

Limes 

Romaine Lettuce

Lots of tomatoes including a yellow heirloom tomato

Lots of tiny red bell peppers from my garden

One tiny red long skinny pepper that my sons said is a miniaturized jalapeno (all the vegrtables in my garden get miniaturized!)

Now I have to cook a lot because there is no room in my refrigerator!

Found a couple of recipes that went great with the food this week:

http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/arugula-watermelon-and-feta-salad-recipe/index.html

This sounds gross but had good reviews so I tried it.  It had this very unusual flavor that was very refreshing.  This might work with the honeydew also- but I had feta and watermelon that I had to use so tried it.  This used the shallots and an orange from last week also. Have about half the arugula left.

My son didn’t want the butternut squash chili and wanted a butternut squash soup because he liked the color.  We made it as it was without the carrot and it was delicious.  To make life easier, I also did not peel the squash before hand- just let it roast in the oven and peeled away the tender flesh.  This goes great with the bacon (has a smoky meat taste).  Have some pictures and will do a step by step tomorrow.  Here is the link: Smoky Butternut Squash Soup.

The recipes are also on my Pinterest Tampa Bay Sustainable Food board. 

See you later!

A Simpler Place in Time

Here is a new chapter in my never ending saga of finding locally grown organic food in Tampa.  Found a new service, A Simpler Place in Time through this article in Temple Terrace Patch.  This is a picture of my order which came to about $30.  Things I like about this service: you order online, free delivery, only have to commit to a single week at a time (but must order a minimum of $25), if you right-click on an item, you find good information on the item and might even link to recipes, the web site tells you who is supplying the food (for local suppliers) or the place where it is grown (for out of town suppliers) and there is a variety of things that I have never tasted.  Pictured above is this week's delivery: Chocolate mint plant (leaves taste like girl scout cookies- a sprig in your coffee cup adds that great flavor), opal basil, english garden peas (haven't seen those fresh in a long time), cremini mushrooms (which just turned out to be baby bellas- but that's OK- learned the real name for them), carrots, garlic, Japanese eggplant (which Rob proposes to turn into Sichuan eggplant but I want to turn into eggplant parmigiana), kale (but we ordered collards), heirloom tomatoes, kabocha squash (an Asian pumpkin which Rob wants to turn into pumpkin curry and I want to turn into pumpkin cheesecake) and local raw unfiltered honey.  They also included a sample packet of Java Planet's expresso mix.  I have been dying to try Java Planet because they are a local organic coffee roaster, and was disappointed to find that this week they were out of stock at A Simpler Place in Time.  Rob want to nix them because he didn't get his collards, but I like the convenience and the variety, so we probably will order again.

What is wrong with kitchen cabinets?

This is my new design for my kitchen cabinets and I must say I am immensely pleased.  Then I got to take a look .this one.  And suddenly I discovered why all kitchen cabinets are inherently flawed!  The shelves are too deep!  The reason why the above design is so great is because I was able to stagger the height of all the jars so that you can read the labels and see some of the ingredients. 

But my tea cabinet was a mess because all the containers had to be about the same size- and what do you do with the cans and boxes?

What we really need- all of us- is one large wall devoted to storage and shelves no wider than four inches.  How wide are cans?  How wide are bottles?  How wide are those cereal boxes?  Maybe even a graduated system with six inch shelves on the bottom and one inch shelves at the top for all your spice bottles.  Wouldn't it be great to place your boxes so that the front of the package was showing?  You know, the side that is decorative and informative?  And then instead of compressing them into 3 feet of space with a lot of it over your head (which I guess would be good if you need to keep children out of it)- you could have a whole wall- with no doors!

I have a wall near the kitchen and I did have shelves against that wall- but they were ugly and collected junk because they were so deep.  They also made it difficult to get things in and out of the door because one foot stolen from a hallway is a lot of space.  But four inches is the width of the door jam- so if you can get something through the door- you should be able to get it out of the hallway.  So now is brainstorming time.
If anyone knows how to build or buy a wall of shelves four inches wide, 10 feet tall, and 8 to 10 feet long, let me know!

Fairy Bouquets

What do you do with all those herb buds you cut off to keep your herbs from going to seed?  Those cuttings you make to keep the garden from spreading too much?  Those leaves and pieces that fall off the plants or are left over from flower arrangements?  The other day, I was gathering up all those little pieces to throw away and discovered that they looked like little 'fairy bouquets'! So I gathered up my cordial glasses and those pretty tiny bottles I was saving for something, and made these fairy bouquets! Love them.

These have dill, oregano, globe basil buds, thai basil buds, honey suckle blossoms and those big red things are begonia flowers!  Not only do they look cute but they smell great!  They are all gathered around my Virgin Mary statue and I hope they make Our Blessed Mother happy.

Have a great day everyone!

Mason Jar Organization

Long ago, I heard from Martha Stewart that the key to organizing your pantry was to collect tons of bottles and use those to store all your baking things, grains, and beans.  The problem is that you either end up with an endless collection of bottles (that fit nothing) or you come home from yard sales and flea markets with a ton of other stuff.   The other day, I took a look at a cabinet piled high with boxes and bags in zip-lock bags piled halfway up the cabinet, no room to put anything in- and had no idea what we had and did not have.

Praying on how to get my home under control a little bit, I had the inspiration to go to Ace Hardware and found these wonderful half-gallon mason jars.  I immediately knew that these would be great, so I grabbed a box and headed home.  The thing about new stuff is that you can't wait to try it out- so I went home and found the biggest bags, then filled those mason jars.  I had a Dyno labeler (which is such a good thing that once you get it, you wonder how you lived without it) and started labeling the jars with the pretty side out.  One of these days, I will get glass paint and decorate the front, but for today, the ordinary embossed design is pretty enough. Within a few minutes, my 6 jars were full.  The next day, I bought quart jars, the next day pints, the next day half gallons.  I recommend this practice.  I don't know about you, but if I buy too much, then it never gets put away.  And today?  Here is my cabinet!  I never thought that I would ever take pictures of my cabinets to put on the internet- but here I am today!  I'll let you know if this doesn't work but I probably won't take a picture of it!

Things I like about this are: the staggered sizes and the labels on the lids lets you see what is in each bottle,  the containers are air tight, and the glass lets you see inside without opening the jar- and- it's pretty!!  Hooray!!  I was so happy that I went ahead and reorganized the rest of the cabinets.  But they aren't pretty enough for the internet- today at least!

Have a great day!

Growing Lettuce in the Summer

One of the wild things about living in Florida, is that you grow vegetables in the winter and April is harvest time.  If you can keep the plants hydrated, you might be able to get some of them through the summer, but lettuce is gone- the heat prevents seeds from germinating and makes the plant go to seed.  I love greens fresh from the garden in my salads but this can only happen October-April.

I have discovered a way to make this happen- window sill gardening.  I don't even need seeds!  It's hydroponics at it's simplest.  You can grow romaine lettuce from the stump that you would normally throw away.  You can also grow celery and green onions the same way.  I read somewhere that it was important to change out the water everyday. 

For about a week now, I have been taking the stumps from my 3-pack of romaine lettuce hearts and planting the stump when I start a new heart.  When it looks like my green onions have spoiled, I take the tops off and stick them in the jar.  I also cut off the stalk from a bunch of celery about a week ago.  Am also starting to grow some microgreens in an old cheese container- want to start new ones every few days.

Left to right: Lettuce, green onion, celery, lettuce mid-week, lettuce started Tuesday, lettuce started last weekend, lettuce started on Thursday.

Using the  jars because soon I will start running out of room, so will start the new ones on the bottom and put the ones growing out of the jar on the top.  These are quart jars BTW- just to give you an idea of the growth possible.

Will let you know how long things will last from one of these plantings in upcoming weeks.

Shop my AVON store!

Shop my AVON store!: Here's a sneak peak at some of the latest products available at Avon. Be sure to click

Happy Easter

Hamburger and Pink Slime

I know where these tomatoes and peppers came from!

When I was a little girl, I used to walk over to Tony Sidowski's meat market and get hamburg. He used to take this huge slab of beef out of the cold closet, whack off a portion of it and I watched as he carefully passed the meat through three times. The meat was red with little white speckles. That was hamburger. That was DOSE hamburger- hamburger the way that God created it!

Somewhere along the way, hamburger turned an homogeneous pink. For a while I thought the difference was grass-fed beet because grass-fed beef is definitely red, while most beef today is definitely pink. Now I find out that the reason hamburger is pink is because they add pink slime!

That sounds bad-but now we're getting some Republican governors who claim that it's just beef. We see this factory tour where beef goes into a conveyor belt and these pink slimy pellets come out the other end. That might make some think that makes it meat-but first you need to understand what happens in the black box!

Wikipedia states that meat that has already been processed to remove all the edible meat, and heated to remove all the usable tallow, is the sent to a factory where it is ground up, steamed, separated to remove more fat, then sprayed with ammonia which is then converted to ammonium hydroxide (household ammonia) by the water left in the meat.

So, it seems that this is meat that has been processed and reprocessed to remove anything of any conceivable value, then processed some more to add fillers to meat that can technically still be called meat.

Our ancestors couldn't eat it. We weren't created to eat the connective tissue, grizzle, and cartilage that is in pink slime, but now thanks to modern technology, we too can play the role of bacteria in consuming these waste products.

I think that it is time to either find a market where I can choose the meat, see it ground and watch it wrapped- or get a grinder and grind it myself. Just another hazard of getting too far away from our food!

Saturday at Busch Gardens

 Rob and I went to Busch Gardens on Saturday to see Herman's Hermits.  They were my favorite teen-heartthrob band in the 1960's.  I know all the songs- you can ask Rob because I sang all the way through!

 Here was a cool tree photo I caught while we were waiting to get in.

 This is the top of the same tree.  Doesn't it look like I always have my head in the clouds?

 Peter Noone looking straight at me!  I would have died if I was still 14!

 This is how trees look in Tampa right now.  Want to get as many shots of the flowers before they fade.  People think there is no spring in Tampa- but I think this time of year when all the trees bloom is our spring.

But of course this is Busch Gardens, so there is no tree without a roller coaster.